BORDERGATE-Bring in the fences

                            

I am reeling from the latest political and religious absurdities surrounding the latest episode of  America’s current reality TV show drama staged on the world theater- Bordergate. The economy has not rebounded well enough  that  in the land of opportunity, everyone I chat with are sticking it out in sick workplaces ,that suck the mirth out of the bones and psyche of the average worker  in exchange for paycheck that barely  pays the rent. Instead of calling in well and chasing down their dreams, people in the noble cause of survival have adapted by the age old game of eating shit and kissing ass to those who hold the purse.

So we switch stations and meddle in other countries right to their own lives.  Barack proposes to his costar in the greatest of reality TV show in the middle east, Benjo, to bring the fences in. It’s impossible to hit a home run with the dimensions in your little stadium. You Jews will have to learn to change the dimensions of your little stadium as the opposing team can’t win any games with your stadium built exclusively for good defense. Give those guys a fair chance for home runs and success. You guys got all the best players, managers in the free market and the best equipment in this sport and I dig how your chicks look in military green .Hey Benjo I got some classified info from intel that Muslim women don’t give good head , Bill Clinton initiated this project. Off course its a fairly well established fact that Arab men are not the worlds great lovers, not well versed  in the ancient art of cunnilingus. So essentially it appears both female and male Arabs haven't mastered the erotic art of delicately licking each others genitalia.Barack sighs and blushes wishing he could inject some good ole American joyful carnal integrity here-a true political solution.  Maybe that’s part of it. Move in the fences and the opposition will be a little nicer. Who knows they might buy a kosher hot dog and a Maccabee beer instead of  lobbing countless rockets southward. Tel Aviv Rocket Dodgers versus the Gaza Hamaskees. PLAY BALL!

They are such misguided children they thought they were bottle rockets without much kick just a little fireworks to get your attention. You got to give it the Hamaskees no one got killed. They can be such fans one day, Barack says with optimism. They shared with me in private that one day when they get their own stadium they envision a middle east world series in a brand new Arab city with a golden domed mosque called Jerusalem. They even offered to demolish that old wall that is in ill-repair with weeds growing out of its cracks. There nicer than you  know. The series would be a great spectacle with a lot of souvenirs of the holiest sites. So good for tourism. He elbows Benjo and mentions the oldest stereotypical Jewish buzz word he can muster up as Benjo is starting to look pissed off-MONEY! Think of the money . Think  of the money! Benjo is fuming now and is foaming at the mouth and asks his costar Barack that I was betting on you that you find your long form American birth certificate somewhere, but did you really graduate Harvard? Georgie W. graduated Yale and that was hard to believe but Barack I am starting to wonder about the validity of your ivy league diploma too. With all the money these USA guys print to cover the debt…, Benjo nods knowingly to himself, they can print anything making it look real and make seem like it can buy you something. That explains it.

Barack still trying to sell Benjo on Bordergate relentlessly ; they really mean it this time they won’t blow up any innocent fans taking the bus to the game. Anyway ,by right, they owned the stadium grounds first, way before you crazy Jews were torched in Europe. Nobody likes you guys in any neighborhood for long.  Deal with it. So it was not their fault they want to evict you Any way, I told you classified info that Muslim Women don’t give good blow jobs, field tested by a former a president. They need their own stadium with their national anthem and nice cute flag too. Somewhere they can call their own where they forget their day to day problems.  Everyone does it, they evict Jews. Its part of this reality TV world show since Moses. Jews piss people off when they do better than the locals.Hey didn't you guys kill that Jewish guy who was really God? You couldn't set up him on a good date? He was 32, unmarried, and need romantic SOS. All he needed was a good Jewish Matchmaker like Patty Stanger. That pissed off alot people you know too. The Palis owned the stadium when the grounds had only camels and cactus growing without water and flowers.  It was just one big empty lot then. Barack pleads.
 Benjo looks up to the sky and asks in disgust , is this the Promised land or is this just a sick a reality TV show and what’s this baseball metaphor bring in the fences, can’t you stick to the parting of the sea…

Go forth and multiply,

SAUL HOLCMAN still holy right here in NY