BORDERGATE-Bring in the fences

                            

I am reeling from the latest political and religious absurdities surrounding the latest episode of  America’s current reality TV show drama staged on the world theater- Bordergate. The economy has not rebounded well enough  that  in the land of opportunity, everyone I chat with are sticking it out in sick workplaces ,that suck the mirth out of the bones and psyche of the average worker  in exchange for paycheck that barely  pays the rent. Instead of calling in well and chasing down their dreams, people in the noble cause of survival have adapted by the age old game of eating shit and kissing ass to those who hold the purse.

So we switch stations and meddle in other countries right to their own lives.  Barack proposes to his costar in the greatest of reality TV show in the middle east, Benjo, to bring the fences in. It’s impossible to hit a home run with the dimensions in your little stadium. You Jews will have to learn to change the dimensions of your little stadium as the opposing team can’t win any games with your stadium built exclusively for good defense. Give those guys a fair chance for home runs and success. You guys got all the best players, managers in the free market and the best equipment in this sport and I dig how your chicks look in military green .Hey Benjo I got some classified info from intel that Muslim women don’t give good head , Bill Clinton initiated this project. Off course its a fairly well established fact that Arab men are not the worlds great lovers, not well versed  in the ancient art of cunnilingus. So essentially it appears both female and male Arabs haven't mastered the erotic art of delicately licking each others genitalia.Barack sighs and blushes wishing he could inject some good ole American joyful carnal integrity here-a true political solution.  Maybe that’s part of it. Move in the fences and the opposition will be a little nicer. Who knows they might buy a kosher hot dog and a Maccabee beer instead of  lobbing countless rockets southward. Tel Aviv Rocket Dodgers versus the Gaza Hamaskees. PLAY BALL!

They are such misguided children they thought they were bottle rockets without much kick just a little fireworks to get your attention. You got to give it the Hamaskees no one got killed. They can be such fans one day, Barack says with optimism. They shared with me in private that one day when they get their own stadium they envision a middle east world series in a brand new Arab city with a golden domed mosque called Jerusalem. They even offered to demolish that old wall that is in ill-repair with weeds growing out of its cracks. There nicer than you  know. The series would be a great spectacle with a lot of souvenirs of the holiest sites. So good for tourism. He elbows Benjo and mentions the oldest stereotypical Jewish buzz word he can muster up as Benjo is starting to look pissed off-MONEY! Think of the money . Think  of the money! Benjo is fuming now and is foaming at the mouth and asks his costar Barack that I was betting on you that you find your long form American birth certificate somewhere, but did you really graduate Harvard? Georgie W. graduated Yale and that was hard to believe but Barack I am starting to wonder about the validity of your ivy league diploma too. With all the money these USA guys print to cover the debt…, Benjo nods knowingly to himself, they can print anything making it look real and make seem like it can buy you something. That explains it.

Barack still trying to sell Benjo on Bordergate relentlessly ; they really mean it this time they won’t blow up any innocent fans taking the bus to the game. Anyway ,by right, they owned the stadium grounds first, way before you crazy Jews were torched in Europe. Nobody likes you guys in any neighborhood for long.  Deal with it. So it was not their fault they want to evict you Any way, I told you classified info that Muslim Women don’t give good blow jobs, field tested by a former a president. They need their own stadium with their national anthem and nice cute flag too. Somewhere they can call their own where they forget their day to day problems.  Everyone does it, they evict Jews. Its part of this reality TV world show since Moses. Jews piss people off when they do better than the locals.Hey didn't you guys kill that Jewish guy who was really God? You couldn't set up him on a good date? He was 32, unmarried, and need romantic SOS. All he needed was a good Jewish Matchmaker like Patty Stanger. That pissed off alot people you know too. The Palis owned the stadium when the grounds had only camels and cactus growing without water and flowers.  It was just one big empty lot then. Barack pleads.
 Benjo looks up to the sky and asks in disgust , is this the Promised land or is this just a sick a reality TV show and what’s this baseball metaphor bring in the fences, can’t you stick to the parting of the sea…

Go forth and multiply,

SAUL HOLCMAN still holy right here in NY

Emailing My Rebbe while dribble around the court looking for an open shot.

Hi Rabbi Rami I am sincerely in the process of writing a book.I am not an experienced writer but I am learning. I want to write a book based on an experience I had about 13 years ago. Its about when I won a contest to shoot for a million dollars at Madison square garden during the NBA all star game and some of the life lessons I learned . I was the media darling of NY for that weekend and got more than 15 minutes of fame for that weekend Re reading the NY Times article, which appeared on the front page somewhere near Monica Lewinsky's story, there are so many sub plots and issues which I can expand upon. You will see alot of references to my weight  problem (yes I have your book where you address this and more) Media seems to go for obvious flaws immediately. Basically the emphasis was on my ordinariness , average looks with major figure flaws and the dream of everyman to change his life instantly with a basketball shot. Monica Lewinsky changed her life instantly while playing with the balls of a powerful player. I portrayed my ball playing in a more family oriented way. I am not opposed  to squeezing the balls of some unnamed politicians because I am far from prudish. And she was using her skills for million dollar money shot too. So what do I want from you? You tell me. I need direction for one.  I will not compliment you here because that is fruitless because every time I have written you with a praise, you poo-poo me. So lets skip that.  My last blog entry I wrote about him from a Facebook exhange reaching out to Dan Gutman. Who to greater of knowledge has one of the only books about a contest and a million dollar shot in a childrens book. Read the exchange in my last post ttp://poeticjottings.blogspot.com/.  of me attempting to enlist his assistance. My BS meter soared from this short exchange. You can see some sample of my writing there too in my impulsive ramblings. I  just started the blog to get something down to work from. I have two main motivations: I enjoy words immensely. I think I have some awesome messages. I am creative but defy form. Why now? If I can get some monetizing value out of this I would give it my twin daughters who have put up with my quirkiness and ups and downs. Some of those were pretty instense for children to witness. They have incured some big debt as they are finishing nursing school and given me alot of NACHAS and told me to shut up  constantly while they studied. I am not too happy they have to start life with such massive debt to help us out when we are sick. They are very solid people and have inherited some of my sarcasm too. Also they have chosen not to date until they finish there BS/RN. so they can focus. I often lack focus and I would have gone for the dates without blinking an eyelash. My dating life was a big priority those days even if the results were mixed. I can imagine the process of writing, publishing and staying true to oneself, making a few bucks can be elusive but hey its just another million dollar shot attempt.. Here is the NY times article which appeared in the NY Times Cover Page that day with my picture. They removed my picture on this site due to my lack of beauty with the generous plumpness of a flawed middle aged physique that has spent too much time overindulging  in a seated position and not enough shooting around at the gym.http://www.nytimes.com/1998/02/07/nyregion/for-1-million-walter-mitty-is-lacing-up-his-high-tops.html So let me know... saul  holcman the milliondollarshotguy still aiming, still dreaming

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Rami Shapiro <rabbirami@gmail.com>	Thu, May 26, 2011 at 7:23 AM
To: Saul Holcman <sholcman@gmail.com>
Hi Saul, This isn't rocket science. First, outline the book. Second, set deadlines for each chapter. Third, write it. Fourth, rewrite it. Fifth, rewrite it again and maybe again. When you have taken it as far as you can go, we can talk again. Seriously: talking about writing is book gets you nowhere. Just start writing it. Rami [Quoted text hidden]

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Saul Holcman <sholcman@gmail.com>

I am also writing a book of my million dollar shot.

I did researching if there were many books on someone having an opportunity to take a million dollar shot. I found a series of  children books by Dan Gutman so I decided  to facebook him. He appeared to be my type of guy and he had many zany, fun and educational ideas for children. However my facebook exchange with him raised my BS meter about him even if I truly like his work and persona. Here is my exchange verbatim below:
 What are your vibes? Another full of themselves opportunist doing children products? Look how he offered to help me By referring me and demonstrating to me  that his ideas were stolen by this sports author?  He is only advice to me is to refer me to someone who appears to in someway use this idea and perhaps prevent him from monetizing bigger. Anyway if anything I might have been the source of his inspiration since I had the most media exposure from this contest. I am most inspirational we all know that.
Something is funny here I think or a harmless exchange?

Saul HolcmanDan Gutman

I love your stuff from just another freaky nice jewish boy attempting to stay forever young and May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung... So dan wanna collaborate on a cool project with the most famous, real, inspirational, humble million dollar shot guy you will ever meet?

For $1 Million, Walter Mitty Is Lacing Up His High Tops - New York Times

www.nytimes.com

The man who stands to make $1 million tonight by sinking a single basket in Madison Square Garden has a big heart, which is a good thing, for Saul Holcman's other physical attributes are not the

2 hours ago ·  ·  · Reshare

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    Dan Gutman So did you make the shot, Saul? Thanks for the offer, but I already wrote 5 million dollar books. That's enough for me. Maybe try Mike Lupica. He might want to rip me off 4 more times.
    

    about an hour ago · 
  • 
    

    Saul Holcman 
    

    I made the million dollar shot many times over especially with my children, other's children on many courts and arenas, so i have no need to rip of anybody nor be involved with people who rip people off. My sole financial motivation is to h...see below for the rest of the exchange.See More

    
    

    13 minutes ago · 
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    Saul Holcman By the way i was not impressed by your referral. I am always impeccable who I refer since it is a reflection on me.
    

    9 minutes ago · 

In another vain attempt to watch TV news tonight game show

In another vain attempt to watch  TV news tonight game show:

my mind whispers become violent wagers in a game where there are no  winners at the end. Losers posing as gentleman litter the landscape.  I watch in horror of the grisly details of another day on the nightly news that is dealt from a plastic shoe in a smoky back room and transported to our living room in a neat production package.
I could never understand how the pretty boys and gal journalist do it with a such a good poker face when the cards the world is holding is a losing hand in obvious fixed game of chance.
                    Sometimes a smile appears on the reporter face. Can they be smirking about that family values -preaching  politician who was busted in a seedy downtown S&M club with his mistress. There he is plastered on the back pages of a tabloid with only thing he is wearing - a leathery twisted smile  Yes the news can be sadistic and masochistic game  dominated  by the worst we humans can be.

Maybe as we are falling it feels like we are flying high with loaded dice and no way to bluff out of this one. 

Stomping on these Shetl (Ghetto) walls.

 Stomping on these Ghetto walls 

                                                A.

Things have changed, you say/

You will follow through, break barriers ,live your dream, be freer

live by Oprah Winfrey's words.../

 As the office cubicle walls are caving in fast on you in your shetl(Ghetto) walls/

Get out of bed out kid you are all grown up now/

 your babies are hungry,  tuition gotta get paid off soon/

 So rent your time to the highest bidder and get a new job/

 leasing your good name at a reduced market price based on your credentials(you have paid dearly for them)/

You will learn lessons in humility, ridicule and social isolation repeatedly/

and feel like the cheapest of whores on Seventh ave or the Bowery

who sold everything inside for a low price /

just to survive/

                                                  B.

She religiously proclaims that she is not lap- dancing here no more

in the VIP back room/ 

with cheap champagne/

and a ticket to heaven purchased at the door/

Office politics  often are mistaken for something else/

I know what I bring to any table, she reminds the audience/

Surely More than a smile, a little flesh/

Surely more than broken inner candlelight with a

 wick that holds the eroding  remains of your inner flame

into crumbling fragments of dusty black resin /

on a cold metal pole dancing quietly alone succumbed by

dreamless oblivious Ghetto nights... /

                                       
                                     C.

Stomping on these ghetto walls..../

Putting on her high-heeled dancing shoes, argyle socks

And killer mascara/

for flamenco/ salsa/ tango/

The HORA a circle of life dance,/Russian Cossack Dancers,/Whooping Crane Wooing dance,/Lambada/ Cotton-eyed Joe/ Lady ga-ga,/The Hustle/  the beer barrel polka/

Reigniting the reconnecting  dance moves that kindle extravagant flames of lusty aliveness
while holy crimson sparks of crackling embers hover above/

 She awakes like a belly dancer in high-heeled shoes wooing, twisting the

snake dance of a life joyously raptured into moments

of pure lightness of being/ with a little cleavage showing/

This perfect feeling of illumination and awesomeness is rare these days/ 

Clearly forbidden and dangerous/

The history of banal and tedious labor started long ago mandated in metaphor of  a couple of curious ancestors  who in the beginning of time dared break the rules and not listen to a higher authority/

They were expeditiously banished from the magic garden/

whisked off in a private cattle car/  processed/ showered/ chained to some meaningless desk job where they never achieved their full potential or even had fun most of the time/ in exchange  for a safer stability or a pension/ Unblissful tepid work for dull minds in the eternal battle to monetize/ But from a high and mighty trap/

                                                            D.
There is no tenure in the magic garden since the rules of time itself remains elusive and not linear/  

Time is always fleeting and your candle is waxing down conjointly to

the rhymes and reasons of a personal life cycle/

Flawed Shadows call you out, kid/

 To burn intensely what’s still left of your once pristine inner dazzling flame/  

 That now flickers perilously wounded into the shetl(ghetto) night…/

You romanticize your past memories from a tainted kaleidoscope of distorted prism glass images

of ex-lovers / chic trendy cafes/, lofty books/, far away exotic land/, warm smiles and tearful departures/ aromatic wines/ esoteric knowledge/ and that mind blowing first kiss/

 you may not have visited really  but would liked again to go there/

But in this recession- muted grey dimly lit room

designed for profit margin-/not prophetic poetic visions

that can keep you up all night dancing with infinite possibilities/

Punch your clock out/ and collect your pay check before you go home/

Because tomorrow is just another working day/ as your life- candle is waxing down shorter/

  

They were expeditiously banished from the magic garden 

from a high and mighty trap/